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I have read so many disappointing psychology oriented books where the authors claim to be experts but rely on bad studies and have a generally poor ability to engage in critical thinking This book by phillips was, without question, better than a lot of what I have read about narcissism and obsession Phillips uses her own experience as an obsessed stalker type to examine why women become obsessed She provides incredible references to literature at times I felt like I was back in some of the best courses I had in college, pouring over Greek and Roman mythology in order to understand why society is the way it is , a summary of psychological and criminological studies, case studies, and interviews The book is incredibly well written and Phillips comes off as a person who is not an expert, but rather someone who did an incredible amount of research to understand her own experience I recommend this book to individuals who like neuroscience, stalking, criminology, psychology, obsession, narcissism, OCD, the history of love feminine identity, mythology, narratives on being a stupid girl, and the like Surprisingly good Well and thoughtfully researched the author provides historical perspective on obsessive love in literature and popular culture, as well as medicine and psychology The section on brain science the feeling of reward and pleasure was particularly interesting The personal narratives of both the women involved in obsessive love and the objects of their affection vary in length but each story makes its point Educators or group discussion leaders could use the author s examination of sexism and the ways it affects male victims situation even when a situation is obviously dangerous, the general societal response may be disbelief, sarcasm, or statements that the object of stalking should be flattered or take sexual advantage of a woman to begin important classroom discussions on gender, ethics, and law As a librarian, I d recommend Unrequited for academic libraries as supplemental reading for gender studies, sociology, and psychology courses perhaps criminal justice as well, although that s not my area and for public libraries Book groups may also want to consider Unrequited. This was a well done and non judgmental book about unrequited love I definitely think it would be helpful to any women currently suffering from romantic obsession I m not currently having that problem, but I have in the past, 4 times to be exact, starting in high school I think this book would have been great for me to have read during any of those obsessions, but even now that I m post obsession and I have a great long term boyfriend who I m sure loves me as much as I love him, I was glad to have read this book and revisited some of my past experiences.I wasn t expecting this book to have been so PITTSBURGHISH The author s romantic obsession that she wrote about took place in Pittsburgh, PA, where I once lived myself In fact, she writes about a time when she checked herself into the UPMC psychiatric ward during her obsession and the phychiatric resident there told her it was not uncommon for women to check themselves in over unrequited love Incredibly, one of my own 4 romantic obsessions I ever had was over a UPMC psychiatric resident doctor I dated back then That seemed like too amazing of a coincidence for me not to bring up That guy totally sucked, I m so appalled at myself for ever thinking that he and I were the right match But I would say that his cruelty helped me overcome my desire for cruel men I learned from this book that such lessons are one of the good things that can come from an unrequited love.If you enjoyed learning a bit about one of my own romantic obsessions and want to hear such stories, read this book It also covers history, psychology, and just a touch of self help. Almost everyone has been through a relationship breakup While some bounce back easily after an ending and go on about their lives with better understanding, others seem to get stuck on an obsessive path Those folks may resort to stalking their love interest, retaliating in ways intended to hurt them, or engaging in other forms of undesirable behaviors Unrequited Women and Romantic Obsession by Lisa Phillips, gives both sides of the relationship exposure and clarity It deeply delves into the unrequited lover s side and the multiple forms this subject has taken throughout history in literature, the arts, psychology, and other fields It also examines the physiology of falling in love and how limerence as a pathology shares significant features with OCD and substance addiction There is a constant craving that cannot be fully satisfied When obsession has taken place in the mind and body of an unrequited lover, no matter what the rejecter does, nothing will be right unless he returns his love completely to the one who seeks it Preoccupying oneself over a former beloved after being rejected can happen How to get over it constructively without hurting others in the process is part and parcel what this author aims to share Phillips gives voice to those beneficial options To this reader, respecting one s choice to walk away from a relationship should be a right we all respect, even when it takes effort In the end, as the author says, for the unrequited lover, rejection is mercy I enjoyed the book a lot. As an author of romance novels, I picked up Unrequited from a research perspective and was not disappointed Ms Phillips has penned an interesting volume on obsessive love, interspersed with very brave snippets of her own story and stories from other women who felt the sting of unrequited love Fascinating and well researched. Lisa A Phillip sUnrequitedblends well researched case studies with her own very personal story in this nonfiction memoir that grapples with the power of obsessive, unrequited love Phillips approaches this subject with both sympathy and frankness while she empathizes with the unwanted woman, she never coddles unlike many dating books, she examines the difficult nuances of both being the unwanted lover and the beloved She details how both male and female stalkers are treated Most impressively, Phillips intertwines her own story with research in such a way that owns up to her actions she accepts what she did and never tries to justify it This book is a fascinating read for anyone interested in psychology, gender studies, or love. |DOWNLOAD EBOOK ⚔ Unrequited ☸ Blending Memoir, Literary Exposition, And Revealing Case Studies, A Powerful, Surprising, And Empathetic Cultural And Psychological Exploration Of One Sided Romantic ObsessionThe Summer Lisa A Phillips Turned Thirty, She Fell In Love With Someone Who Didn T Return Her Feelings She Soon Became Obsessed She Followed Him Around, Called Him Compulsively, And Talked About Him Endlessly One Desperate Morning, After She Snuck Into His Apartment Building, He Picked Up A Baseball Bat To Protect Himself And Began To Dial Her Unrequited Love Had Changed Her From A Sane, Conscientious College Teacher And Radio Reporter Into Someone She Barely Recognized Someone Who Was Taking Her Yearning Much Too Far In Unrequited, Lisa A Phillips Explores The Tremendous Force Of Obsessive Love In Women S Lives She Argues That It Needs To Be Understood, Respected, And Channeled For Personal Growth Yet It Also Has The Potential To Go Terribly Awry Interweaving Her Own Story With Frank Interviews And In Depth Research In Science, Psychology, Cultural History, And Literature, Phillips Describes How Romantic Obsession Takes Root, Grows, And Strongly Influences Our Thoughts And Behaviors Going Beyond Images Of Creepy, Fatally Attracted Psychos, Male Fantasies Of Unbridled Female Desire, And The Platitudes Of Self Help Books, Phillips Reveals A Powerful, Troubling, And Surprisingly Common Phenomenon As She Illuminates This Mysterious Psychological Experience, Placing It In A Rich And Nuanced Context, She Offers Compelling Insights To Help Any Woman Who Have Experienced Unrequited Obsessive Love And Been Mystified And Troubled By Its Grip Really smart and interesting take on relationship dynamics Obsession is such a relative term, and Phillips mines it for many original and startling insights Very well studied and researched This book should be read immediately I ve already bought two copies. Fascinating and important Why aren t people talking about this book Know someone in the throes of unrequited love and is becoming obsessed to the point its adversely affecting her life Is that someone gasp YOU If so, then get this book and read it right nowor get the audiobook and listen to it This book is not your typical self help book It is chock full of a diversity insights regarding today s dating scene or what she calls the dating industrial complex , and she also offers lots of good information that will first of all reassure you are NOT crazy because you have a love that is not reciprocated in kind After all, the author openly admit she s been where you been, and she s written the book on it ok, couldn t resist that one haha However, while the author doesn t judge the unrequited lover nor does she judge the unwitting recipient of the unrequited love either, she also does not mollycoddle the woman she refers to repeatedly in the book as the unwanted woman Rather, the author gives the reader the honest truth, and gives a breakdown as to how you and she at one time got into that not so emotionally healthy place and most importantly, she gives one the tools to overcome obsession or at least use it to your advantage she offers very practical and practicable ways of how to get out over the obsession She speaks about how sometimes an unrequited love obsession can be beneficial to some women, especially those who are of a creative, artistic bent She offers several examples in the book of some of those women However, she also does address those who are completely out of control and is unequivocable about the need for them to get over it and move on The author doesn t accept the idea of unrequited love as pathology and she posits that model tends to be a sexist one However, she also says women often are not held accountable for obsessive behaviors when it comes to unrequited love Warning she does drop a few f bombs in the book Just so you know Seriously, though, if you are so done with crushing and you want to get this down and over with like YESTERDAY, then pick up this book You ll be glad you did.