READ E-PUB ♊ Crazy Love ♀

Though the pacing of the story was awkward focusing too much on unimportant details while rushing through traumatic incidents the story itself is intriguing Leslie reluctantly fell in love with a charming, handsome man whom she soon found she couldn t live without, no matter how much he pushed her away mentally and physically She quit a cherry job, left the city she loved and followed him to a rural town where he began abusing her on a regular basis It wasn t until she found some freedom in graduate school and he almost killed her during a particularly bad beating that she found the strength to leave I liked hearing Leslie s side of the story, because it shed a bit of light on the question of why do smart, strong women stay with scumbag abusers However, it wasn t enlightening enough Her main argument was, I needed him, so I stayed Eh that doesn t really clarify anything I feel like she could ve done with this book, that it only reached 70% of its potential Still, I devoured it in just a few sittings, so it was definitely worth reading. I m a bit torn about my review for this Steiner s story is compelling So compelling, in fact, that I read the book in about one sitting way past my bedtime too I really wanted to see how she would escape the relationship and was also generally curious about her life s path Yet, I didn t lovethe book or Steiner s writing, I only liked it. READ E-PUB ☪ Crazy Love ⚖ At Twenty Two, Leslie Morgan Steiner Seemed To Have It All A Harvard Diploma, A Glamorous Job At Seventeen Magazine, A Downtown New York City Apartment Plus A Handsome, Funny, Street Smart Boyfriend Who Adored Her But Behind Her Facade Of Success, This Golden Girl Hid A Dark Secret She D Made A Mistake Shared By Millions She Fell In Love With The Wrong PersonAt First Leslie And Conor Seemed As Perfect Together As Their Fairy Tale Wedding Then Came The Fights She Tried To Ignore He Pushed Her Down The Stairs Of The House They Bought Together, Poured Coffee Grinds Over Her Hair As She Dressed For A Critical Job Interview, Choked Her During An Argument, And Threatened Her With A Gun Several Times He Came Close To Making Good On His Threat To Kill Her With Each Attack, Leslie Lost Another Piece Of HerselfGripping And Utterly Compelling, Crazy Love Takes You Inside The Violent, Devastating World Of Abusive Love Conor Said He D Been Abused Since He Was A Young Boy, And Love And Rage Danced Intimately Together In His Psyche Why Didn T Leslie Leave She Stayed Because She Loved Him Find Out For Yourself If She Had Fallen Truly In Love Or Into A Psychological Trap I wish I could remember who recommended this book to me so that I never read their recommendations again Unbelievable that it was written by a Harvard grad, since it reads like an article in Seventeen magazine The author actually wrote for Seventeen, before giving up her job to move to another state with a man who choked her during sex while repeating the creepy words I own you long before she married him, the most apparent red flag in a long string of warnings she chose to ignore Giving up your cat that you raised from kittenhood because a man doesn t like her Unforgivable Any man who insists that you get rid of your cat for him is a thrower As in THROW HIM BACK It was probably unnerving to him that the cat could see right through him even though her idiot owner could not By the time I got to the part where her dog got so sick that he was no longer interested in his daily Reeses peanut butter cup, I was so sickened myself that I almost threw the book across the room Is there really any pet owner on the face of the earth unaware that chocolate is toxic to dogs and kills them Maybe the cat was lucky to be given away The dog died The writing style throughout this sordid tale was irritating, though that seems minor compared to everything else Every noun is preceded by at least three adjectives as though she is trying to increase her word count For instance My ugly orange swivel chair squeaked I went through an entire roll of cheap scratchy toilet paper There are loose ends throughout that are never explained For instance, her father refuses to help her out with finding a lawyer, though he is a lawyer himself She later finds out that her father gave the abusive husband she was trying to divorce 1000, which abusive husband used to hire his own attorney to sue her Yet up until this point she had a good relationship with her father What on earth could have been his reasoning The mother, who is portrayed throughout the book as an abusive alcoholic that they barely tolerate, is transformed at the end to the person who was always there for her Huh Crazy Love by Leslie Morgan Steiner is a personal history of abuse with a social mission of redemption Steiner recounts a series of harrowing milestones in a relationship gone wrong, illuminating why she and so many others stay with violent partners and how friends, family, bystanders can help.Addressing the reader directly, she writes If I were brave enough the first time I met you, I d try to share what torture it is to fall in love with a good man who cannot leave a violent past behind I d tell you why I stayed for years, and how I finally confronted someone whose love I valued almost than my own life Then maybe the next time you came across a woman in an abusive relationship, instead of asking why anyone stays with a man who beats her, you d have the empathy and courage to help her on her way By that measure, Crazy Love succeeds Steiner s straightforward account of four years of abuse would make even the hardest hearted person aware of the emotional, physical and financial risks of severing ties with an abuser And that understanding might spur readers responses when lives are on the line.I know I won t soon forget the attacks Steiner described The cold muzzle of a fully loaded Colt.45 bruising her temple Bits of onion and meat smacking her face and her hands on the steering wheel, remnants of a Big Mac thrown in protest of her driving Hands choking her as he mouthed the words I own you Beyond the blows and humiliations, I ll remember Steiner s loyalty beyond reason and the failure of so many friends, family members and institutions to intervene It took years of experiments in both fighting back and submitting for her to conclude that nothing she did made him hit her and nothing she did short of leaving made him stop I ll remember how her desperate calls for help were denied by a busy signal at the domestic violence hotline and the prescription for tranquilizers her therapist proffered instead of an evacuation plan.This account of violent episode after violent episode educates the reader about warning signs and legal remedies, but Steiner s character her unique pedigree and persona instruct as well I was challenged by her account because she wasn t particularly likable Her poor little rich girl tales of self loathing, drug abuse, and anorexia didn t resonate I found it hard to care about a character so attached to appearances and her Waspy Ivy League heritage.When she first meets Conor, her soon to be abuser and husband on the subway, she tries to impress the stranger with references to her high powered father and weekend jaunts to Vail Later, she makes statements like, my grandfather was the only Harvard senior in the class of 1929 who owned two sports cars She takes money from her trust fund to buy her own engagement ring because she doesn t want the diamond chip in a cheap gold setting he s likely to buy.My negative reaction to her on the page prompted me to consider the barriers to empathy and help that victims of domestic violence encounter in real life Personality, privilege, poverty how about adding this, or even and so many other factors color our responses to victims Yet a victim is a victim is a victim, regardless of outsiders assessments of their resources or personal failings And Steiner wasn t a character She was a person in desperate need of help.In this way, Crazy Love reminded me that even when it looks like someone has the financial or other resources to leave a bad situation, the victim must be lacking other resources the conviction, knowledge or support also confidence to break free Someone can be obnoxious and worthy of help Someone can be well connected and in need of support And our sympathy and intervention shouldn t be reserved for perfect victims people who fit our preconceived ideas about need, suffering, worthiness.This riveting account of a years long journey to acknowledge and end an abusive relationship bravely answers the question Why would a woman stay with a man who hurts and threatens her It leaves readers to ponder a crucial related question How can we build the empathy, insight and courage required to help, rather than judge, victims of such violence. There s a lot of shame in abuse Women feel ashamed to tell someone they stayed in a violent relationship, and men feel ashamed to admit that they allowed a woman to be violent and controlling toward them Often you hear people say, I would leave the instant someone put their hands on me It s not always so cut and dry as you will come to understand by reading Leslie s memoir.This is a heartbreaking story of falling fast for the wrong guy It can happen to an uneducated poor single mother on welfare just as easily as it can happen to an intelligent Harvard graduate with the future wide open to them You think the harvard graduate can easily cut ties with their abuser Wrong It s not easy no matter what your econimic standing is One thing I wish Leslie would have told about is the divorce So many women stay in bad situations becuase of the exact same reasons Leslie was faced with I would have liked for her to tell us how she got out of paying alimony, and how she rebuilt her life once she left, but who knows she might write another memoir explaining all of this one day Leslie is a shining example of how one can recover from an abusive situation, and later find the happily ever after we all crave Her situation looked bleak, but at the end of the book she tells you that she has cleaned up the financial mess her ex husband left her with, and is now happily married with children This book really irritated me I appreciate that the author wrote about her struggles being in a physically abusive relationship I have never been nor will ever be in an abusive relationship plus I have never had terrible self esteem issues so I read this as a case study of sorts I cannot really comment on the abusive husband, Conor, since he is just despicable as can be assumed Also, I thought it was bizarre that the author completely skewed the information about her parents in this book Her mother is written in the beginning as an alcoholic WASP with a venomous tongue since she called her the Washington Whore Well, if you are 13 and completely drugged out having sex, then I think this is accurate Also, aren t all WASPs alcoholics Then her father is portrayed as career driven who is focused on his job than being with his daughter through important points of her life She always resents him for this but she has a closer relationship with him since he never verbally hurt her feelings At the end of the book once Leslie decides to divorce Conor for almost killing her, her mother becomes her close confidante who has always been there for her The father for some CRAZY reason gives Conor 1000 for legal counsel even though HE TRIED TO KILL HIS DAUGHTER Ok, wtf The most horrible thing for me to read was about the only likable character in the book which is their dog, Blue I can t believe that someone with a Harvard education missed the memo that dogs are POISONED by chocolate Needless to say, this book has taught me many things a Even people who are doing lots of drugs and boozing can get into Harvard Why didn t I do this b Even people who go to Harvard have no common sense whatsoever c Don t marry a guy that chokes you during sex while saying I Own You and d Thank God that you had amazing parents cause even though this girl came from wealth and education, she didn t have the strength to tell them about her problem It s definitely a rough book to finish. I bought this book mainly because I personally find other people s lives and stories fascinating With that said, I did not really like it all that well I thought that the husband was crazy which is obvious when one is a wife beater and I found myself routing for the woman to come to her senses and leave his sorry ass to which I am glad she did However, I did not much care for this woman either I am no way condoning the violence towards her but to me she sounded like the most self absorbed, uppity entitled person I found it ridicules her unnecessary thoughts of not having place mats on her table like it s the end of the world But perhaps the most ridicules was her reasoning on why a cheaper engagement ring meant that her love was cheapened and the ring did not represent there powerful love that somehow because she is embarrassed to have such a dinky ring meant she would be embarrassed about her love I am paraphrasing Her job alone to be honest made me not like her she worked for seventeen magazine and she claims girls where helped by this trash of a magazine, when studies show that magazines like seventeen and the like are what perpetrate negative body image and feelings of being worthless if you don t own the latest and greatest fashions I should say that it s no surprise that this woman thought this magazine was so great to young women when all she ever known was that her looks where the most important from her mother and the best advice I assume she received from the woman was this outfit go s with that shoe The real questions this book arises in me, is why we don t teach our daughters how to look out for themselves and not to trust so blindly There is to life than teaching your little girl about fashion and makeup, there is no reason why this young woman should think that being choked during sex is ok There is no reason why a young woman should not be taught how to trust her gut instincts It struck me as odd that the first time she meets Conor she didn t want to move to the other seats in the now empty train car because she didn t want to be rude and hurt his feelings My question is this, what the hell did she owe a perfect strangers feelings if she felt Uncomfortable And why is it ok for men to learn to assert themselves when facing uncomfort and its boys being boys but for a young woman its rude.In all its just another story of the same girl with a different name and face The story is relatable for the most part when young and facing a blind love that sweeps you in a whirlwind However, I don t think it changes anything when young girls are as good as how they look and what they have and not taught how to care for themselves when it comes to self worth and self defense against violence And little boys are not taught how to control themselves like human beings It s not boys being boys to be violent and have temper tantrums, your humanstop training your boys to be selfish violent mongoloid animals This book was like a mirror into my own past I ve had it for several years, but just recently reached the point where I was able to read it It was harrowing It made me cry It was all too real to me I recommend this book highly, but if you have a history of spousal abuse, just know her descriptions of her husband s attacks are plainly but vividly explained if that makes any sense She describes them very straight forwardly And it can take you right back to any moment of your own I think this is an important book It shows a survivor And she s not just surviving as if that s not enough She s thriving She is proof that escape is possible And at the end of the book, there is a list of phone numbers, resources for anyone in an abusive relationship of any kind. Anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship should read this book Then again, anyone who has ever wondered why women don t leave their abusers should read it.Steiner is a good writer and shows vividly what it is like to be married to someone who is violent I was into this story from the first page and read it in two days.